Tuesday, August 10, 2010

The Age of Distraction

Wow. I never thought the day would come when I would have to remind myself that Rome and Ethics Papers weren’t built in a day! Yet I just had to forcibly remove myself from my desperate need to get all of my homework for the week done tonight, despite the fact that I’ve already done everything I had due for Thursday and am down to the journal articles for this week’s 3-5 page paper.

I really, really hate weekly papers. Having a paper due every week is ridiculously stressful. Don’t get me wrong, I much prefer it to the process of having a huge test each unit (although in the wide, wonderful world of open book quizzes you never know), but geesh. I think I’ve just gotten so used to being ridiculously stressed that I’ve forgotten how to sit back and take these things in stride.

Speaking of which, I still have to go move laundry. Ugh…

I’m looking at the remainder of my paint job wishing I could work up some motivation, but it’s just not coming. I love working full time again, but I forgot how tired it can make you! It was 8 o’clock by the time I finished work, picked up some groceries and got home. There’s a huge sense of accomplishment in knowing that if I absolutely had to, I could support myself financially though. That’s something I’ve never had to do. I moved back in with my parents when I dropped out of college, shared an apartment with my fiancée when I moved back out, moved back in with my parents when that didn’t work out, then moved in with my in-laws before I finally got a place with Mike. My financial burden has never been mine, and since the kids were born I knew I couldn’t handle it.

It’s nice to know that between my brand spanking new, full time job and the freelance jobs I could still take advantage of if I wanted to I could actually support myself for once.

Do you think it’s wrong to have never lived alone? My baby sister is chafing at the bit now, since she moved in with her boyfriend straight out of high school, and I can’t say I blame her. On the one hand, you shouldn’t move backward in a relationship. On the other, she’s never really been with anyone other than the guy she’s with now, and if she doesn’t get some space to finish growing up she’s going to implode on him sooner or later. I know. I’ve been there.

This past month was tremendously good for me, because for the first time in my life I actually lived on my own for more than a day or two. The whole “no hubby or kids for 2 weeks straight” and the fact that I really only had the kids for a handful of days in July translated to a nice, recuperative break for Mom, who got to eat when she wanted, sleep when she wanted and go to the movies whenever she wanted. And go see the midnight showing of “Eclipse” twice if she was so inclined!

Yes, I used and abused it, but I’m in a better place mentally for it, and I think my baby sis would be too. Now it’s a matter of convincing her boyfriend that letting her go is the right thing to do. The beginning of the end, or the end in the beginning? Who knows? The only thing I know is that TNT.tv is finally working, and I want to go see the end of Leverage before it changes its mind! Sayonara!

Monday, August 9, 2010

Of Green Paint and Gummi Worms

Dude, it's Monday. It's so very, very Monday. The huge amount of green paint currently staining my kitchen and dining room carpet-my fault, unfortunately-is screaming to me that it's Monday. Aside from the fact that this day started with both a bang (the paint can) and a whimper (mine) it hasn't been bad. I think it's the whole "finally got enough sleep" thing (after, like, 30 hours worth) but I'm actually bright eyed and bushy tailed today.

Boing boing. Now if only my head would stop hurting. These constant headaches are actually starting to worry me a little bit. It's like a never-ending throb in my head, usually on the right side, which is where my migraines always like to make an appearance. It could be allergies. It could just be a lack of caffeine. They're happening often enough, however, that I may actually ask my neurologist for an MRI next time I'm in his office unless they decide to stop making an appearance. I'm taking 2x's the amount of Imitrex I'm supposed to be, have been for a few months now. Enough is enough.

So, that was my whine of the day. I'm going to keep this blog post blissfully short. There were no gummi worms, sorry, as much as I might have wished otherwise! There is, however, a story outline I need to finish for a client who offered me a little freelance work, a touch of homework I need to knock out of the way and a fabulous book I'm dying to get to the end of. Oh, yeah, and there's the fact that I actually have to get out of bed and go to work in the morning. Ugh. Sayonara!

Saturday, August 7, 2010


I can't believe I'm about to admit this in a public setting-even if it's in my own blog, which I am absolutely, 100% convinced no one I know is actually going to read-but ever since I broke down and went to see "Eclipse" I've found myself getting hooked on the "Twilight" series.

Considering how low my opinion of that series is in the first place, that's saying something. Before I roll into raptures and you sit there with this, "Oh God, she's almost 30, what the hell?" look on your face, let me break it down. I think the series was poorly written. Reading it was like watching a train wreck. You knew it was a disaster, it was going to end badly and there was nothing you could do to stop it, but you just couldn't look away. You HAD to know what happened.

It wasn't because the characters were particularly loveable. Edward was...well, in my personal opinion there was nothing redeeming about Edward. He was an overbearing freak who manipulated Bella left, right and sideways. And Bella was a spineless pushover who stayed with the manipulating freak over, and over, and over again when she should have walked away. In the first two books it was easy to excuse her stupidity. She was young, and that type of devotion is incredibly flattering when you're in high school. She hadn't seen any of the real world, she wasn't old enough to make decisions that would last forever, and you assumed that sooner or later she was going to grow up and get over it.

Oh, don't I wish.

The catch is, I found myself REALLY liking Jacob. It was funny, because as I saw in another post, Jacob was only ever meant to be a supporting character. There was never meant to be a sequel to "Twilight", so he didn't play a huge role in the first book, and it was supposed to be incredibly obvious that he was always second best to Edward. I get that. The problem was, he was so much more LIKEABLE than the leech. He had personality, strength of character, and he made Bella seem more like a person and less of a porcelein doll, standing there with a blank smile on her face as she waited for someone to take her arms and tell her where to move. I honestly, truly saw Bella that way for the entirety of the series except when she was with Jake in New Moon, and I have to admit, I wasn't impressed.

The way they made "Eclipse", however, shifted the focus from the whole Bella and Edward and Bella's going to die (again) to the way Jacob felt about her, and how they were together compared to how she was with Edward, and I began to see a little bit of hope. What if you rewrote the series, and Bella could actually learn to love what was good for her? What if she decided to kick Edward's ass to the curb, which we were all just dying to see her do? Because really, who just welcomes their boyfriend back after he walks out on them like that? Who doesn't kick him in the ass for trying to kill himself after he screwed things up in the first place?

And oh, personal rant, because you have to look at the way Edward threatened suicide to get the girl back and see how that affected teenagers across the planet. Millions of teenaged girls swooned over the fact that he didn't want to live in a world without Bella. What kind of message does that give teenaged boys? That suicide makes them this dire, romantic hero? Oh. My. God. There's really nothing I can say to that. He was immature and stupid, and Bella let that influence her choices.

But what if she chose Jake? Suddenly these great, romantic possibilities open up. A whole future she could enjoy as a person rather than an automaton. Don't get me wrong, I love me some vampires. If she had a good relationship with Edward then we could have cheered when he came back, but Jake was SOOO much better for her. I look at that, consider what Jacob Black would be like when the boy became a man, and find myself captivated by the possibilities and the happily-ever-after none of them are ever going to get.

And so, I've been Twilighted. I've found myself digging for fanfictions that put Jacob and Bella together, just to see the story go the way it should have gone if Stephanie Meyer had decided to give Bella a REAL relationship instead of the tragic father-daughter, Romeo and Juliet thing she had going with Edward. I've figured out what the obsession is. I hate to see things end without a happy ending. I was sucked into Stargate SG-1 fanfic because they never put Jack and Sam together. I got sucked into Buffy fanfiction because, let's face it, when it's Joss Whedon NOBODY gets a happily-ever-after. And now I'm reading Twilight fanfic because Bella had a choice to make, and she's choosing wrong.

I guess somewhere, deep down, I'm still just a hopeless romantic at heart.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Bully for Borders

So, with the boss out of the office and the Internet at work on the fritz, I’m working out of what I’ve affectionately dubbed my “Borders Office” today-the high table in the corner of the Borders café. Excellent coffee, high speed Internet, snacks only a short walk away and, perhaps most importantly, enough atmosphere that I don’t get that oppressive feeling I sometimes get when I’m actually at work. Turns out, however, that when you’re planning on working in a Wi-Fi café that requires a redirect to log on to their Internet, you have to make sure your own security settings aren’t standing in your way.

Go figure.

It unfortunately took me the better part of a half an hour to figure out this was what was going on, however, and in the meantime I spent some time wandering around. It was then that I was treated to what had to be a golden moment in my day. A random man walked up to me and goes, “Do you know why it’s a good idea for women to date homeless men? Because after the date you can just drop them off anywhere!” Slightly lame, I’ll grant you, but I really had to laugh. After all, how often do random strangers walk up to you in a store and tell you bad jokes?

It was golden.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Of Sunburns and Swimming Pools...

Have you ever wondered why it is that things always look so much different at 1:20 in the morning? I’m snuggled in bed with my laptop on the awesome lap desk my hubby got me for Christmas, happily typing through a bout of insomnia that just might kill a lesser (wo)man with a smile on my face. Geekiness will ensue shortly, but first, let me tell you a tale of sunburns and swimming pools.

The short story is, after a month of being able to glut themselves on the company of cousins, my kids are bored at home. Incredibly, incredibly bored. So, in an effort to break up the monotony, I played hooky this morning and took the kiddos to the wading pool at Perry Park. Between the pool, the picnic we packed and the fact that they ran into a pile of their school friends while they were there, I thought I was going to need a crowbar to pry them out of there.

I didn’t quite have to haul out the hardware, but for a while there it was a pretty close thing. And since I managed to completely flake out and forget to apply sunscreen before we left, there’s going to be hell to pay tomorrow. I know, I know, let’s just skip the part where I’m a bad parent and move on. It almost seems redundant at this point.

Does anyone else ever notice that their older children tend to drown out the younger? I felt bad, since Garrett was the only one who didn’t really latch on to another kid at the swimming pool, so I tromped upstairs to visit with him for a little while this afternoon. I’ve realized that the reason the child never talks is that the poor kid can never get a word in edgewise! With Alex and Chelsea talking over him all the time he probably thinks he doesn’t have a thing to say.

One month and counting until I can ship them back to school…