Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Unfulfilled dreams, or future goals?

My youngest brought his pre-school graduation pictures home today. I have to admit to a touch of nostalgia as I remember doing this with Chelsea's class two years ago. The move up to Kindergarten. My kids really are growing up, and all I can do is stand and stare as it happens. Next year I'll have a Kindergartener, a second grader and a fourth grader, and I have to admit-it's weird. It leaves me wondering what I'm going to do with an entire house to myself all day!

The click of keys from the back bedroom reminding me I'm never alone, and the steadily growing pile outside my laundry room reminding me a mother of three has plenty to do, answers that question pretty efficiently!

Garrett starting school isn't the only milestone we're going to reach next year. I'm less than a year away from my B.A. in Marketing and Public Relations. I'm still freelancing-in fact, I just brought on a new client, an article writing company in California. It's kind of weird to look around and realize I've got everything and nothing I've ever wanted. I have a home, a family, a wonderful husband who loves me, even if he doesn't really get me, a job I enjoy most of the time when I'm not drowning under my to-do list and the degree I've always wanted only a hands-breadth away.

On the other hand, I haven't played music in years, and I live in a house that's painfully empty of it. I write, but I haven't taken the time or effort to get my own stuff published. I've started three different books, have some great ideas, I just need to get around to finishing them. I feel trapped and yet so free at the same time. I guess the trick for me now is to take this amorphous dissatisfaction and turn it into something good, something solid.

Don't look now boys. I finally started remembering who I am, and it's not the fat, frumpy, often depressed homebody I can be at times. It's time to kick back and have some fun!

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