Dude, it's Monday. It's so very, very Monday. The huge amount of green paint currently staining my kitchen and dining room carpet-my fault, unfortunately-is screaming to me that it's Monday. Aside from the fact that this day started with both a bang (the paint can) and a whimper (mine) it hasn't been bad. I think it's the whole "finally got enough sleep" thing (after, like, 30 hours worth) but I'm actually bright eyed and bushy tailed today.
Boing boing. Now if only my head would stop hurting. These constant headaches are actually starting to worry me a little bit. It's like a never-ending throb in my head, usually on the right side, which is where my migraines always like to make an appearance. It could be allergies. It could just be a lack of caffeine. They're happening often enough, however, that I may actually ask my neurologist for an MRI next time I'm in his office unless they decide to stop making an appearance. I'm taking 2x's the amount of Imitrex I'm supposed to be, have been for a few months now. Enough is enough.
So, that was my whine of the day. I'm going to keep this blog post blissfully short. There were no gummi worms, sorry, as much as I might have wished otherwise! There is, however, a story outline I need to finish for a client who offered me a little freelance work, a touch of homework I need to knock out of the way and a fabulous book I'm dying to get to the end of. Oh, yeah, and there's the fact that I actually have to get out of bed and go to work in the morning. Ugh. Sayonara!
Monday, August 9, 2010
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Twilight-ed
I can't believe I'm about to admit this in a public setting-even if it's in my own blog, which I am absolutely, 100% convinced no one I know is actually going to read-but ever since I broke down and went to see "Eclipse" I've found myself getting hooked on the "Twilight" series.
Considering how low my opinion of that series is in the first place, that's saying something. Before I roll into raptures and you sit there with this, "Oh God, she's almost 30, what the hell?" look on your face, let me break it down. I think the series was poorly written. Reading it was like watching a train wreck. You knew it was a disaster, it was going to end badly and there was nothing you could do to stop it, but you just couldn't look away. You HAD to know what happened.
It wasn't because the characters were particularly loveable. Edward was...well, in my personal opinion there was nothing redeeming about Edward. He was an overbearing freak who manipulated Bella left, right and sideways. And Bella was a spineless pushover who stayed with the manipulating freak over, and over, and over again when she should have walked away. In the first two books it was easy to excuse her stupidity. She was young, and that type of devotion is incredibly flattering when you're in high school. She hadn't seen any of the real world, she wasn't old enough to make decisions that would last forever, and you assumed that sooner or later she was going to grow up and get over it.
Oh, don't I wish.
The catch is, I found myself REALLY liking Jacob. It was funny, because as I saw in another post, Jacob was only ever meant to be a supporting character. There was never meant to be a sequel to "Twilight", so he didn't play a huge role in the first book, and it was supposed to be incredibly obvious that he was always second best to Edward. I get that. The problem was, he was so much more LIKEABLE than the leech. He had personality, strength of character, and he made Bella seem more like a person and less of a porcelein doll, standing there with a blank smile on her face as she waited for someone to take her arms and tell her where to move. I honestly, truly saw Bella that way for the entirety of the series except when she was with Jake in New Moon, and I have to admit, I wasn't impressed.
The way they made "Eclipse", however, shifted the focus from the whole Bella and Edward and Bella's going to die (again) to the way Jacob felt about her, and how they were together compared to how she was with Edward, and I began to see a little bit of hope. What if you rewrote the series, and Bella could actually learn to love what was good for her? What if she decided to kick Edward's ass to the curb, which we were all just dying to see her do? Because really, who just welcomes their boyfriend back after he walks out on them like that? Who doesn't kick him in the ass for trying to kill himself after he screwed things up in the first place?
And oh, personal rant, because you have to look at the way Edward threatened suicide to get the girl back and see how that affected teenagers across the planet. Millions of teenaged girls swooned over the fact that he didn't want to live in a world without Bella. What kind of message does that give teenaged boys? That suicide makes them this dire, romantic hero? Oh. My. God. There's really nothing I can say to that. He was immature and stupid, and Bella let that influence her choices.
But what if she chose Jake? Suddenly these great, romantic possibilities open up. A whole future she could enjoy as a person rather than an automaton. Don't get me wrong, I love me some vampires. If she had a good relationship with Edward then we could have cheered when he came back, but Jake was SOOO much better for her. I look at that, consider what Jacob Black would be like when the boy became a man, and find myself captivated by the possibilities and the happily-ever-after none of them are ever going to get.
And so, I've been Twilighted. I've found myself digging for fanfictions that put Jacob and Bella together, just to see the story go the way it should have gone if Stephanie Meyer had decided to give Bella a REAL relationship instead of the tragic father-daughter, Romeo and Juliet thing she had going with Edward. I've figured out what the obsession is. I hate to see things end without a happy ending. I was sucked into Stargate SG-1 fanfic because they never put Jack and Sam together. I got sucked into Buffy fanfiction because, let's face it, when it's Joss Whedon NOBODY gets a happily-ever-after. And now I'm reading Twilight fanfic because Bella had a choice to make, and she's choosing wrong.
I guess somewhere, deep down, I'm still just a hopeless romantic at heart.
Considering how low my opinion of that series is in the first place, that's saying something. Before I roll into raptures and you sit there with this, "Oh God, she's almost 30, what the hell?" look on your face, let me break it down. I think the series was poorly written. Reading it was like watching a train wreck. You knew it was a disaster, it was going to end badly and there was nothing you could do to stop it, but you just couldn't look away. You HAD to know what happened.
It wasn't because the characters were particularly loveable. Edward was...well, in my personal opinion there was nothing redeeming about Edward. He was an overbearing freak who manipulated Bella left, right and sideways. And Bella was a spineless pushover who stayed with the manipulating freak over, and over, and over again when she should have walked away. In the first two books it was easy to excuse her stupidity. She was young, and that type of devotion is incredibly flattering when you're in high school. She hadn't seen any of the real world, she wasn't old enough to make decisions that would last forever, and you assumed that sooner or later she was going to grow up and get over it.
Oh, don't I wish.
The catch is, I found myself REALLY liking Jacob. It was funny, because as I saw in another post, Jacob was only ever meant to be a supporting character. There was never meant to be a sequel to "Twilight", so he didn't play a huge role in the first book, and it was supposed to be incredibly obvious that he was always second best to Edward. I get that. The problem was, he was so much more LIKEABLE than the leech. He had personality, strength of character, and he made Bella seem more like a person and less of a porcelein doll, standing there with a blank smile on her face as she waited for someone to take her arms and tell her where to move. I honestly, truly saw Bella that way for the entirety of the series except when she was with Jake in New Moon, and I have to admit, I wasn't impressed.
The way they made "Eclipse", however, shifted the focus from the whole Bella and Edward and Bella's going to die (again) to the way Jacob felt about her, and how they were together compared to how she was with Edward, and I began to see a little bit of hope. What if you rewrote the series, and Bella could actually learn to love what was good for her? What if she decided to kick Edward's ass to the curb, which we were all just dying to see her do? Because really, who just welcomes their boyfriend back after he walks out on them like that? Who doesn't kick him in the ass for trying to kill himself after he screwed things up in the first place?
And oh, personal rant, because you have to look at the way Edward threatened suicide to get the girl back and see how that affected teenagers across the planet. Millions of teenaged girls swooned over the fact that he didn't want to live in a world without Bella. What kind of message does that give teenaged boys? That suicide makes them this dire, romantic hero? Oh. My. God. There's really nothing I can say to that. He was immature and stupid, and Bella let that influence her choices.
But what if she chose Jake? Suddenly these great, romantic possibilities open up. A whole future she could enjoy as a person rather than an automaton. Don't get me wrong, I love me some vampires. If she had a good relationship with Edward then we could have cheered when he came back, but Jake was SOOO much better for her. I look at that, consider what Jacob Black would be like when the boy became a man, and find myself captivated by the possibilities and the happily-ever-after none of them are ever going to get.
And so, I've been Twilighted. I've found myself digging for fanfictions that put Jacob and Bella together, just to see the story go the way it should have gone if Stephanie Meyer had decided to give Bella a REAL relationship instead of the tragic father-daughter, Romeo and Juliet thing she had going with Edward. I've figured out what the obsession is. I hate to see things end without a happy ending. I was sucked into Stargate SG-1 fanfic because they never put Jack and Sam together. I got sucked into Buffy fanfiction because, let's face it, when it's Joss Whedon NOBODY gets a happily-ever-after. And now I'm reading Twilight fanfic because Bella had a choice to make, and she's choosing wrong.
I guess somewhere, deep down, I'm still just a hopeless romantic at heart.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Bully for Borders
So, with the boss out of the office and the Internet at work on the fritz, I’m working out of what I’ve affectionately dubbed my “Borders Office” today-the high table in the corner of the Borders café. Excellent coffee, high speed Internet, snacks only a short walk away and, perhaps most importantly, enough atmosphere that I don’t get that oppressive feeling I sometimes get when I’m actually at work. Turns out, however, that when you’re planning on working in a Wi-Fi café that requires a redirect to log on to their Internet, you have to make sure your own security settings aren’t standing in your way.
Go figure.
It unfortunately took me the better part of a half an hour to figure out this was what was going on, however, and in the meantime I spent some time wandering around. It was then that I was treated to what had to be a golden moment in my day. A random man walked up to me and goes, “Do you know why it’s a good idea for women to date homeless men? Because after the date you can just drop them off anywhere!” Slightly lame, I’ll grant you, but I really had to laugh. After all, how often do random strangers walk up to you in a store and tell you bad jokes?
It was golden.
Go figure.
It unfortunately took me the better part of a half an hour to figure out this was what was going on, however, and in the meantime I spent some time wandering around. It was then that I was treated to what had to be a golden moment in my day. A random man walked up to me and goes, “Do you know why it’s a good idea for women to date homeless men? Because after the date you can just drop them off anywhere!” Slightly lame, I’ll grant you, but I really had to laugh. After all, how often do random strangers walk up to you in a store and tell you bad jokes?
It was golden.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Of Sunburns and Swimming Pools...
Have you ever wondered why it is that things always look so much different at 1:20 in the morning? I’m snuggled in bed with my laptop on the awesome lap desk my hubby got me for Christmas, happily typing through a bout of insomnia that just might kill a lesser (wo)man with a smile on my face. Geekiness will ensue shortly, but first, let me tell you a tale of sunburns and swimming pools.
The short story is, after a month of being able to glut themselves on the company of cousins, my kids are bored at home. Incredibly, incredibly bored. So, in an effort to break up the monotony, I played hooky this morning and took the kiddos to the wading pool at Perry Park. Between the pool, the picnic we packed and the fact that they ran into a pile of their school friends while they were there, I thought I was going to need a crowbar to pry them out of there.
I didn’t quite have to haul out the hardware, but for a while there it was a pretty close thing. And since I managed to completely flake out and forget to apply sunscreen before we left, there’s going to be hell to pay tomorrow. I know, I know, let’s just skip the part where I’m a bad parent and move on. It almost seems redundant at this point.
Does anyone else ever notice that their older children tend to drown out the younger? I felt bad, since Garrett was the only one who didn’t really latch on to another kid at the swimming pool, so I tromped upstairs to visit with him for a little while this afternoon. I’ve realized that the reason the child never talks is that the poor kid can never get a word in edgewise! With Alex and Chelsea talking over him all the time he probably thinks he doesn’t have a thing to say.
One month and counting until I can ship them back to school…
The short story is, after a month of being able to glut themselves on the company of cousins, my kids are bored at home. Incredibly, incredibly bored. So, in an effort to break up the monotony, I played hooky this morning and took the kiddos to the wading pool at Perry Park. Between the pool, the picnic we packed and the fact that they ran into a pile of their school friends while they were there, I thought I was going to need a crowbar to pry them out of there.
I didn’t quite have to haul out the hardware, but for a while there it was a pretty close thing. And since I managed to completely flake out and forget to apply sunscreen before we left, there’s going to be hell to pay tomorrow. I know, I know, let’s just skip the part where I’m a bad parent and move on. It almost seems redundant at this point.
Does anyone else ever notice that their older children tend to drown out the younger? I felt bad, since Garrett was the only one who didn’t really latch on to another kid at the swimming pool, so I tromped upstairs to visit with him for a little while this afternoon. I’ve realized that the reason the child never talks is that the poor kid can never get a word in edgewise! With Alex and Chelsea talking over him all the time he probably thinks he doesn’t have a thing to say.
One month and counting until I can ship them back to school…
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Who's afraid of the big bad wolf...
It's funny how we go through life terrified of change. When we find a routine that works for us, and our lives are flowing along smoothly, we cling to that way of life long after it stops fitting who we are. The question then becomes, why are we so afraid of change? What is it we think we're going to discover?
What's really going to happen if we decide to let go and freefall?
Oh, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking it's easy for me to talk about change when it's not my life that's going to be rocked. I know how it feels to be terrified that the bottom's all going to drop out. I was a 17 year old single parent, a 24 year old contractor trying to make a living writing, of all things. I took the leap not because it was best for me but because it was what was best for the people I loved, and while there were some tough years in there I still managed to come out on top. So will you.
The greatest events of our history have taken place when someone finally gathered up the nerve to just take the plunge and let go. When we finally said, "I've had enough of this" and put it all on the line. Sooner or later, we get where we need to be. Hold on to that truth, and it won't be long before you're on your way to the life you've always dreamed.
What's really going to happen if we decide to let go and freefall?
Oh, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking it's easy for me to talk about change when it's not my life that's going to be rocked. I know how it feels to be terrified that the bottom's all going to drop out. I was a 17 year old single parent, a 24 year old contractor trying to make a living writing, of all things. I took the leap not because it was best for me but because it was what was best for the people I loved, and while there were some tough years in there I still managed to come out on top. So will you.
The greatest events of our history have taken place when someone finally gathered up the nerve to just take the plunge and let go. When we finally said, "I've had enough of this" and put it all on the line. Sooner or later, we get where we need to be. Hold on to that truth, and it won't be long before you're on your way to the life you've always dreamed.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Unfulfilled dreams, or future goals?
My youngest brought his pre-school graduation pictures home today. I have to admit to a touch of nostalgia as I remember doing this with Chelsea's class two years ago. The move up to Kindergarten. My kids really are growing up, and all I can do is stand and stare as it happens. Next year I'll have a Kindergartener, a second grader and a fourth grader, and I have to admit-it's weird. It leaves me wondering what I'm going to do with an entire house to myself all day!
The click of keys from the back bedroom reminding me I'm never alone, and the steadily growing pile outside my laundry room reminding me a mother of three has plenty to do, answers that question pretty efficiently!
Garrett starting school isn't the only milestone we're going to reach next year. I'm less than a year away from my B.A. in Marketing and Public Relations. I'm still freelancing-in fact, I just brought on a new client, an article writing company in California. It's kind of weird to look around and realize I've got everything and nothing I've ever wanted. I have a home, a family, a wonderful husband who loves me, even if he doesn't really get me, a job I enjoy most of the time when I'm not drowning under my to-do list and the degree I've always wanted only a hands-breadth away.
On the other hand, I haven't played music in years, and I live in a house that's painfully empty of it. I write, but I haven't taken the time or effort to get my own stuff published. I've started three different books, have some great ideas, I just need to get around to finishing them. I feel trapped and yet so free at the same time. I guess the trick for me now is to take this amorphous dissatisfaction and turn it into something good, something solid.
Don't look now boys. I finally started remembering who I am, and it's not the fat, frumpy, often depressed homebody I can be at times. It's time to kick back and have some fun!
The click of keys from the back bedroom reminding me I'm never alone, and the steadily growing pile outside my laundry room reminding me a mother of three has plenty to do, answers that question pretty efficiently!
Garrett starting school isn't the only milestone we're going to reach next year. I'm less than a year away from my B.A. in Marketing and Public Relations. I'm still freelancing-in fact, I just brought on a new client, an article writing company in California. It's kind of weird to look around and realize I've got everything and nothing I've ever wanted. I have a home, a family, a wonderful husband who loves me, even if he doesn't really get me, a job I enjoy most of the time when I'm not drowning under my to-do list and the degree I've always wanted only a hands-breadth away.
On the other hand, I haven't played music in years, and I live in a house that's painfully empty of it. I write, but I haven't taken the time or effort to get my own stuff published. I've started three different books, have some great ideas, I just need to get around to finishing them. I feel trapped and yet so free at the same time. I guess the trick for me now is to take this amorphous dissatisfaction and turn it into something good, something solid.
Don't look now boys. I finally started remembering who I am, and it's not the fat, frumpy, often depressed homebody I can be at times. It's time to kick back and have some fun!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
The Sun'll Come Out, Tomorrow...
What an absolutely gorgeous day! We finally got to run around outside without our coats on. It was glorious. Who says the sun never shines in NY?
So, overall, it's been a very ordinary day. We missed the bus. Garrett got his pictures taken. I slogged through all the kids' arts and crafts stuff, and you can actually see wall AND carpet in that corner of the room. Did some laundry. Jogged through an episode of "Buffy, the Vampire Slayer," which isn't my favorite show but is great for a light pick-me-up first thing in the morning.
Discovered IDump4U.com. If you get a chance, go check out some of their videos. They're amazing.
Grabbed a shower, picked up my books from the library, grabbed Garrett from pre-k, dropped him off at his afternoon pre-k, came home, made myself a yogurt and granola parfait, and called my mother.
Then 12:30 rolled around. Yes, that's right, I managed to do all that before noon. I hadn't really thought about what an accomplishment that was!
Anyway, I started work around 12:45. That didn't go quite so well. I spent half the time answering emails. It's incredibly frustrating when you only have a little bit to do, and you know you only have a little bit to do, and you still can't get it done. I'm 3 articles into a 7 article set, with submission and distribution still looming. But revisions were made on the stupid newsletter I've been working on for weeks, and that should be good to go, thank God.
Picked up Garrett from school, then let him play outside until Alex and Chelsea were done. He played with his friend Liam for a while, until Liam had a melt-down and his mom made him leave. I keep offering to take him off her hands, but she's not buying. I don't know if she's uncomfortable with me b/c he got hurt playing with Alex in the yard last time or if she's just like that. I feel kind of bad that she keeps coming over here with him. It's not that I mind the company-I really like her-but I know half the fun of playdates is getting to get rid of your kids for a little while!
Anyway...
So, I grabbed Alex and Chelsea and we went to the store for Easter party stuff. 4 bags of cookies and who knows how many containers of cupcakes later, we were geared up and ready to go. Ran into Dad in the parking lot. Still not quite used to bumping into him at the grocery store after all those years of barely seeing each other. And the library. And the bookstore. Thanks small towns!
We get back home, we do some homework. Alex pounds out his math homework while Chelsea rolls through her spelling words. Then I kicked the kids outside.
Now, the smart thing to do would have been to get some work done here, but let's face it. Who can work at 4:00 when it's sunny and the kids are outside? I did manage to be somewhat productive-I read my chapter for school and made hard boiled eggs-but I still have a pile of stuff to knock out tonight.
Fortunately, I'm actually caught up on work for once. It's a good feeling. If I can crack down on Saturday I might even be able to have work and homework caught up while the kids are on break so I only have to put in an hour or two a day. We'll see how that works out.
So, we made dinner, the kids cleaned up outside. Pancakes and pork chops were enjoyed by all (yes, I know, I'm from down South-that doesn't seem wierd at all!) while the kids watched "Barbie and the 3 Musketeers". At that point it was time for laundry, bath and bed!
So here I sit, happily blogging and completely procrastinating doing anything productive. There's a cat hoping I'll open the window again so he can try and claw out the screen. One of these days, I might just give in and let him.
Heigh ho, heigh ho, it's off to work I go!
So, overall, it's been a very ordinary day. We missed the bus. Garrett got his pictures taken. I slogged through all the kids' arts and crafts stuff, and you can actually see wall AND carpet in that corner of the room. Did some laundry. Jogged through an episode of "Buffy, the Vampire Slayer," which isn't my favorite show but is great for a light pick-me-up first thing in the morning.
Discovered IDump4U.com. If you get a chance, go check out some of their videos. They're amazing.
Grabbed a shower, picked up my books from the library, grabbed Garrett from pre-k, dropped him off at his afternoon pre-k, came home, made myself a yogurt and granola parfait, and called my mother.
Then 12:30 rolled around. Yes, that's right, I managed to do all that before noon. I hadn't really thought about what an accomplishment that was!
Anyway, I started work around 12:45. That didn't go quite so well. I spent half the time answering emails. It's incredibly frustrating when you only have a little bit to do, and you know you only have a little bit to do, and you still can't get it done. I'm 3 articles into a 7 article set, with submission and distribution still looming. But revisions were made on the stupid newsletter I've been working on for weeks, and that should be good to go, thank God.
Picked up Garrett from school, then let him play outside until Alex and Chelsea were done. He played with his friend Liam for a while, until Liam had a melt-down and his mom made him leave. I keep offering to take him off her hands, but she's not buying. I don't know if she's uncomfortable with me b/c he got hurt playing with Alex in the yard last time or if she's just like that. I feel kind of bad that she keeps coming over here with him. It's not that I mind the company-I really like her-but I know half the fun of playdates is getting to get rid of your kids for a little while!
Anyway...
So, I grabbed Alex and Chelsea and we went to the store for Easter party stuff. 4 bags of cookies and who knows how many containers of cupcakes later, we were geared up and ready to go. Ran into Dad in the parking lot. Still not quite used to bumping into him at the grocery store after all those years of barely seeing each other. And the library. And the bookstore. Thanks small towns!
We get back home, we do some homework. Alex pounds out his math homework while Chelsea rolls through her spelling words. Then I kicked the kids outside.
Now, the smart thing to do would have been to get some work done here, but let's face it. Who can work at 4:00 when it's sunny and the kids are outside? I did manage to be somewhat productive-I read my chapter for school and made hard boiled eggs-but I still have a pile of stuff to knock out tonight.
Fortunately, I'm actually caught up on work for once. It's a good feeling. If I can crack down on Saturday I might even be able to have work and homework caught up while the kids are on break so I only have to put in an hour or two a day. We'll see how that works out.
So, we made dinner, the kids cleaned up outside. Pancakes and pork chops were enjoyed by all (yes, I know, I'm from down South-that doesn't seem wierd at all!) while the kids watched "Barbie and the 3 Musketeers". At that point it was time for laundry, bath and bed!
So here I sit, happily blogging and completely procrastinating doing anything productive. There's a cat hoping I'll open the window again so he can try and claw out the screen. One of these days, I might just give in and let him.
Heigh ho, heigh ho, it's off to work I go!
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